Alexandra Tribe talks to the Sassy Mama Dubai and provides tips for separating couples in the Middle East.
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I find that divorce is a taboo word for most mothers. I’m often nervous to say that I’m a divorce lawyer because for many people, divorce is associated with anger, hurt and acrimony. But it doesn’t have to be like that. Separation can be straightforward. With careful advice and guidance, it is possible and now increasingly common for couples to separate amicably and remain on good terms for the sake of their children.
Here are tips for any mums feeling uncertain about their marriage, who don’t know where to turn:
1. Firstly before considering divorce or separation, try counselling. The years of motherhood are beyond exhausting and put a strain on the most stable of marriages. You may not think it, but everyone’s trying it, whether they are having marriage problems or just need help with communication. It works. Life coaching is a form of counselling that can be helpful for troubled marriages; it seeks to improve communication and plan for the future rather than dwelling on the past.
2. ‘Jurisdiction’ – this means what court where would accept an application for divorce. Many expat mums may not know that they can divorce quickly and easily in their home country whilst living abroad. For example, we have assisted thousands of British expats to divorce through the English courts. The financial outcome in the courts of your home country may be better than in the courts where you live.
3. Make a plan – think about the practical implications of separating. Where would you live? If you are an expat, would you move home with the children? Consider that you may not be legally allowed to relocate with the children without your husband’s consent.
4. Consider your financial needs – start writing down your day to day spending on yourself and the children so you know what your income needs are. Keep receipts for larger items. This is important as often your income needs will form that basis of any financial settlement you reach with your husband.
5. Be financially savvy – think whether you are aware of your family finances. Consider whether you may want to protect jointly owned assets; banks will often make a jointly owned account a ‘joint signatory’ account if there is a risk one party will remove all funds. Try to ensure you have some emergency funds set aside. Ask your lawyer how property in your husband’s name may be protected.
